Unlit Candle

I witnessed beauty last night and she took me on a circular roller coaster to hell and to heaven over and over again. I came away from it realizing I’ve been going about this all wrong. I’ve gone through three failed attempts to conjure up something interesting for me to poke at and share. I want to keep my brain elastic, but perhaps the stretch is limited in the realm I wish to explore. Therefore, instead of that realm, I’ll be in this one. I feel comfortable in this one.

(((Enigmatic, faded, unsure, obscure, ground faltering)))

It’s an abyss, but all possibilities and potentialities emanate from the abyss. It’s the most real to me… because to speak in absolutes never worked for me. Absolutes are a fallacy, creating doubt to truth… and truth, perhaps truth is a shapeshifter of sorts. I don’t really know, but I want to feel more free, and keeping in touch with my intuition seems like the most gratifying action towards freedom. Trusting in that is a muscle I continually need to improve, so perhaps this iteration of sharing words will aid in that.

I’m not defining the style of this substack, but I do think I’ll probably focus on poetry at least in the beginning. I just think it’s the simplest way for me to explore the realm I speak of.

I wrote this poem back in January of 2023, after meeting my “Beatrice” à la Demian by Hesse.

Unlit Candle

My suppressed cupress is
Un-der dur-ess
Reaching high
Beneath the sky
Heavy pressure weighs
Upon my gaze

In the apex of your angle
I want to show you my tangle
Guts chained, snarl
Grovel, gravel, unlit candle